The Credit Whore

In the coaster world vernacular, there is a term describing the most shameless and the most coaster obsessed. It often describes grown men and women who cast off any shred of maturity in the name of upping their coaster count. The term, is Credit Whore.

Just as ladies of the evening will go home with almost any gentleman, so too will the rabid coaster enthusiast ride even the smallest of coaster. Recently, I joined the ranks of credit whores by riding a kiddie coaster at Fun Spot in Orlando Florida. Oddly enough it was called the Wacky Worm. (Side steps incoming innuendo).

I’d never been to Fun Spot or Old Town. It’s a smaller park with various attractions mixed in with tourist shops and restaurants. For the beer and wings crowd, Kool Katz and another restaurant offered specials on Monday nights. Since credit whoring is often done on a budget and an empty stomach, said specials were welcome.

Back to the Wacky Worm. For those who aren’t familiar, a Wacky Worm is a small figure 8 coaster that’s about twenty feet off the ground. The train is themed to a happy, if not baked out looking worm, surrounded by flower lights and bright colors. No major thrills or drops, and just right for little ones. For the credit whore, this is a golden opportunity. A coaster is a coaster after all, even at the cost of some dignity.

With any quest, pitfalls are bound to come up. Some kiddie coasters have height requirements forbidding adults from riding, while others require having a child with you. Now we’re introduced to a whole new set of dynamics. The questing adult must now borrow or bribe a child, preferably a friend’s offspring (because a total stranger’s child would be creepy all around) in order to meet the ride requirements. Since the adult is at a disadvantage, an enterprising and aware child can make some spare cash for ice cream or souvenirs, especially if the adult circle of friends is both large and trusted. It should be noted that females have better leverage in this situation due to maternal instinct, while males…well…not so much (and we’ll leave it at that). No need to invoke the P word here. Yes, you know the one.

Despite the above pitfalls, there are times when the hand of fate (or drooping attendance) can work in your favor. So was the case with Mr. Wacky Worm. Three gleeful and shameless men rode a child’s roller coaster, laughed, and cashed in on the credit. Some of us needed showers afterward (and possibly therapy), but a good time was had by all.

So the next time you see adults on a kiddie coaster, have a laugh, cheer them on, and enjoy their level of good natured coaster enthusiasm.

Like what you’ve read? Check out more articles like this at TheRapidsBlog!

Tags: coastercountcreditenthusiastnerdwhorewhoring